Herding Cats

I ran by the house this morning. It is February 1, 2010, the day we take legal possession. We exchange keys tonight at 5 PM. I was going to run up to the front windows and see how the family room and library look like emptied of her Barbie collection.

But two red moving trucks were blocking my way. She is still not moved out.

Carrie points out that if they are still moving her out there is little chance she will sweep, mop, disinfect the house, but we agree it would make little difference. The only way to get the smell out is to repaint every wall and refinish all of the floors, so who cares if it is a little dusty.

It would be nice if she at least wipes the mold out of the refrigerator (or throws it away herself so that we don't have to).

Movie Time.

Welcome home.

The Silence of the Cats

Inside the Monster.

The "bones," as our house inspector said, are solid. It is the character of the house that needs a bath.

The grandfather clock in the front hallway is a metaphor. It is solid and standing, but it is covered in grime, the pendulum is broken off, and a cat bed sits in the bottom. Not to overlook the fact that it sits in a room smelling of powerful wee.

Here, kitty kitty!

The house is filled with all sorts of awesome. Take the dining room.

And the third floor.

Her My Little Pony collection in the living room is rad.

And every closet is a surprise. A surprise filled with Barbie Dolls still in the box. Every closet - hall, bedroom, bathroom - looks like this one, only some are floor-to-ceiling Barbie. Literally. If Cat Lady had sold these on EBay not only could she have paid the liens on the house, she could have bought herself a Porsche, a new white tiger poster, and a few more litters of kittens.

Each bedroom was also a surprise. Is that a blood stain on the wall? Is that a body in the bed? I still only smell wee, so if it is a body it is either freshly dead or still alive.

Same thing here. Should I wake him up?
And by the way, that white tiger poster in the window is actually the window.

Why do I still only smell wee? Oh yeah, cat litter in every room.

Dinner is served!

The single candle on the stove really helped. By the way, does the stove look brand new to you? Because it might as well be. It has never been turned on. Cat Lady informed me that she conforms strictly to the hibachi/microwave method of cooking.

Let's Get It on!

One day last fall, Carrie said to me, "I saw a house for sale down the street in a part of town we could never afford. But this one is within our price range and owned by a crazy old hoarder with three dogs and fifteen cats."

She then added with wonder in her eyes, "It smells like an SPCA kill room, half of the house doesn't have electricity, and the basement reminds me of the well from Silence of the Lambs!"

I put my fist in the air and yelled, "Let's buy that sucker!"